How Your Partner's Sleep Habits Impact Your Sleep Quality, and What You Can Do About It.
No two people are alike. If people were shoes, there would be no matching pairs.
When it comes to romantic relationships, being different can be exciting. A Doc Martin and a Birkenstock bring very different things to the table, as do a Louboutin and a Converse Allstar. But these differences can create problems when it comes to sharing a bed. In fact, sharing a bed is like a litmus test for a relationship. You could be the most compatible couple on earth in every other way, but if you can't reconcile your sleep differences, it could mean the end of your relationship.
The National Sleep Foundation found that 61 percent of adults sleep with a bed partner and 1/4 to 1/3 of adults reported that their intimate relationship has suffered as a result of their partner's sleep problems.* Quality sleep is fundamental to our overall well-being, influencing mood, cognitive functions, and health. And this, in turn, is reflected in relationship satisfaction.
If you are having trouble sharing a bed with your partner, it's important to diagnose the problem and work toward finding a solution. Good Sleep Online Marketplace can help.
Here are some of the ways a bedroom can go wrong:
Temperature Preferences: One person is so cold they would make an ice cube jealous, while the other is hotter than a jalepeno in July. What can you do?
Bed Hogs: In the daytime your partner may be the most gentle, generous, benevolent, soft-hearted person in the world. But at night they turn into a sheet thief. A blanket bandit. A duvet desperado. A mattress jockey. A space invader. Committing linen larceny. Colonizing the nocturnal kingdom. Leaving you naked and afraid, fighting for your life in the middle of the night. The solutions may be simpler than you think.
Restlessness: Is your bed like a bouncy house at night? Is your sleep disturbed because your partner's leg is constantly jiggling, or because your partner's body flips and turns like an olympic gymnast? This problems requires some creativity.
Sleep Schedules and Routines: Mismatched sleep schedules can be a source of frustration for couples. Unfortunately it's not always possible to synchronize your sleep schedules, either because of work commitments, or because of your natural circadian rhythms. But there are ways to mitigate disruptions.
Snoring and Sleep Apnea: Common sleep disorders like snoring and sleep apnea can disrupt not only the affected individual's sleep but also that of their partner. It's important to explore available treatments and lifestyle changes to mitigate the impact on both partners, fostering better sleep and increased relationship satisfaction.
Matrress Preferences: Are you split between getting either a bed of nails or a bed of marshmallows? Are you going to have to sleep in separate beds? No! Or, at least, not exactly.
Good Sleep Has Suggestions!
Firstly: There's nothing wrong with having separate bedrooms. (And, maybe, sneaking into that separate bedroom as the need arises.). This is a completely legitimate practice and should rightfully be destigmatized. And Good Sleep is here to help if you do need to furnish that extra bedroom. But, for those who don't want to take that extra step, or who simply can't afford a larger place, Good Sleep has some solutions.
Temperature Preferences:
You can find products related to Temperature Regulation on the Hot & Cold page.
Staying cool is more difficult than keeping warm. This is because it's harder, and generally more expensive, to subtract heat than it is to add heat. For staying cool, we recommend the following options:
Portable air conditioner like this or this, to be kept on the hot person's side of the bed.
Cooling comforters, and blankets, and pillow cases using patented Arc-Chill technology. (This stuff is AMAZING! Seriously, if you have hot flashes, we highly recommend this.).
Bamboo Fiber products, such as these pajamas, and these sheets, and pillow cases,
As noted earlier, keeping warm is less complicated than staying cool. To keep warm we recommend:
portable heaters to accomodate either or both sides of the bed.
Wearable blanket hoodies and sherpa fleece blankets.
And, for the benefit of both of you, fuzzy thermal socks to cover those ice cold feet.
Bed Hogs:
Three words: Stop Sharing Blankets!!!
There's no reason why you shouldn't each have your own blanket and comforter. In fact, some couples don't even bother with a top sheet. This way they can each move about freely without disturbing their partner, This also allows each person to decide if you need a blanket that provides coolness, or one that provides warmth, or one that provides security like this weighted blanket.
For a variety of bed coverings, please check out our Hot & Cold page, our Stress Relief page, and even our Mother & Baby page.
Restlessness:
There are two ways to deal with the restless partner problem. One way is for the restless partner to address the factors that are making them restless. The other is for the victim of the restless partner to block out the disturbance.
For the Restless Partner we recommend the following, which can be found on the Stress Relief page:
A massage chair or a massage gun, heat or ice packs or devices, and arnica gel to soothe aching muscles.
Weighted blankets or the Hug Sleep Hooded Sleep Pod Move to provide a feeling of security, as well as to physically weigh the restless person down.
Vitams and supplements such as vitamin B complex, Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid supplement (aka GABA), Magnesium, vitamin D3, and, of course Melatonin.
Aroma therapy using scented candles or a diffuser to calm the room. Essential oils for sleep include lavender, chamomile, bergamot, peppermint, cedarwood, sandalwood, and marjoram.
Journals so that the restless person can unburden themselves of those restless thoughts.
For the Person Who Loves the Restless Partner, we recommend the following items which can be found on the Light & Darkness page, the Sounds & Silence page, and the Stress Relief page:
A body pillow to place between you and your restless partner.
Vitams and supplements to help you relax such as vitamin B complex, GABA, Magnesium, vitamin D3, and Melatonin.
And maybe a catcher's mask if your restless partner kicks and swings a lot in their sleep.
Sleep Schedules and Routines:
When one person is a morning person, and the other person is a night owl, it can have a net negative effect on each partner's sleep. The morning person, who goes to bed early, can lose sleep in the evening if their partner is still tooling around. And the evening person, who gets up later, can lose sleep in the morning when the morning person starts bumping around the bedroom. Sometimes it's not possible to synchronize sleep schedules. However, small changes in your bedroom habits, including some sleep technology, could reduce disruptions, improve sleep quality, and increase relationship satisfaction.
A couple of the above-listed solutions for Restlessness, Eye masks. and Ear plugs, could be helpful here. In addition we recommend, for the morning person, a wake-up light like the Philips or the Hatch or the Lumie. These devices mimic sunrise and can even offer wake up sounds. These devices provide a less jarring wake up experience that will be less disturbing to your partner. They also will help regulate your sleep rhythms by easing you into the morning. Aside from that, the couple could consider having a tech-free bedroom. This way, the other partner won't be disturbed by the use of a mobile phone or keyboard.
Aside from devices, communication and compromise are key when considering conflicting sleep schedules. The morning person could help the evening person by getting the coffee started to preparing a simple breakfast for when the evening person eventually rushes out of bed. And the evening person could help the morning person by taking care of some of the end of day chores like doing dishes or preparing a sack lunch for the next day.
Snoring and Sleep Apnea:
If you snore, or if you think you may have sleep apnea, please, PLEASE, see a doctor. This could be a very serious condition.
We have various products to help with snoring on our Breathing & Snoring page. Our recommendations include:
Products to strengthen your throat and lungs. A strong firm throat could help your partner to snore less.
Mouth tape (although this only works if you can breathe through your nose).
Neti pots and saline rinse, and/or allergy meds
Nasal dilators and/or nose strips
Side-Sleeping Backpacks. Forces you to sleep on your side to reduce snoring. Can also be worn on the front for stomach sleepers.
C-pap machines and mouth pieces are best obtained through a doctor's prescription.
Also, if you snore, doctors recommend avoiding alcohol in the evening. Alcohol causes the back of the throat to relax and increases the likelihood of snorting. (Sorry guys.).
Mattress Preferences:
When you and your partner cannot agree on the firmness of a mattress, ideally what you want is to be able to accommodate both. Here are some possible solutions.
Invest in a sleep-number bed.
Invest in a split king. This is a king bed that is split into two such that each side has its own mattress.
Buy two twin beds and push them together.
Insert twin-size mattress toppers under the fitted sheet so as to approximate the firmness you each would prefer.
A Final Thought
Mostly, sharing a bed requires creativity, flexibility, communication and compromise. Check out some of our recommendations and find out what works for you.
Remember, when things get tough:
Love is not about
sharing a bed.
Love is about
Sharing your dreams.
Mahalo Mucho,
Good Sleep Online Marketplace
Footnotes:
*"Sharing the Covers: Every Couple's Guide to Better Sleep" by Wendy M. Troxel, PhD
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